blog.djstead.net

I think most of us are in agreement by now, that life is a finite experience – over the course of which you build up experiences, and you make your decisions and get on with the whole damn thing. You’ll probably have also noticed that there are lots of other people living their lives, and doing things in different ways. However, I’ve come to the realisation that a lot of things aren't set up this way – rather than a continuous evolving/developing consciousness – society seems to resist change greatly: There are plenty of rules and regulations inherent in day to day life that are inflexible, or even have no logic behind them any more, after so many years of ‘just being like that’. An obvious example would be religion in the traditional sense – Same stories, rules, ideas, etc.; handed down over the generations, with little room for consideration of the developing world. Obviously many religious groups are hastily changing tack on this – e.g. the Catholic Church r...

Formulated in the dying hours of Friday 17th July, 2009 – the Theory of Epicality was specifically inspired by listening to Metal, walking home from work in the blistering rain {6.2 on the Epic Scale}; and generally inspired by the abundance of references to epicness on the new crucible of definition; the interwebs. General Theory of Epicality Anything, be it perceived to be bad/good or have a positive/negative effect; can be rated on the Epic Scale. The Epic Scale Conventional use of the Epic Scale operates between 0 and 11. Although exceptions have been recorded, at times of extreme epicness. < 1 Micro - Barely noticeable instance of epicness. Only noticed by trained epicticians. 1-2.9 Minor - Epic occurance that is taken in the individual’s stride. 3-4.9 Light - A glimpse of epicness that is visible to the people around you. 5-6.9 Moderate - Moments of epicness occurring within the context of every day life. 7-8.9 Strong - Prolonged period of epi...

In the darkened skies of the inner cosmos; in the place where dragons lie: A lonely muse drifts through the backwaters of the galaxies, singing a sorrowful song. However, her lament does not go unheard – a lost cosmonaut, left for dead to drift in the endless reams of space, rescues the lonely muse from her eternal fate, and returns with her to a land of oceans and of Fixed Rate APRs. Here, they now make music together – a glorious song, proclaiming their newfound joy for the world. And – for many blue moons – all is well for them. Until, in time, the lost cosmonaut returns to the earth from whence he was born, and the muse – distraught and alone once more – returns to the skies to ride the tideless waves of space for all time. Yet – in their precious few years together – they did have a son. One, unearthly son, conceived at the very crux of the symphonies they performed together. One, ungodly son, that was ne’er alike anything before him, yet shaped things irrever...

It’s often rather fun to stick your own name into Google and see what results you find. One of the more interesting results I have found, pointed me to proceedings at the Old Bailey, on 26th May 1748: DANIEL STEAD, THEFT: SIMPLE GRAND LARCENY, 26TH MAY, 1748. The Proceedings of the Old Bailey Ref: t17480526-9 TRIAL SUMMARY: + Crime(s): theft: simple grand larceny, + Verdict: Not Guilty: prosecutor not present, ORIGINAL TEXT: 271. Daniel Stead was indicted for stealing twelve pieces of leather, value 4s. 6d. the property of George Jarvis. The prosecutor not appearing, he was acquitted. You can view the original page about this here: The Proceedings of the Old Bailey, London 1674 to 1834

Roundabouts, Roundabouts – where will they lead? Mayhap to Altringham, or on to Runnymead. With rings on her fingers and churches nearby, Time hath come to away from you fly. Badgers to this, and clungeflaps to that My arctic circle often talks with your cat. Only in Birmingham will the forsaken lie, Before the fight LANtastic, crosses the darkening sky. - MY SECRET MESSAGE TO THE WORLD [PART ONE] Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart didn’t get to where he is today by knitting designer swimwear. Neither did Beethoven. - Cake Cake Cake: It’s all about the Cake! Bishops and Wizards do so at the lake. Armitage Shanks. The Legend of She. Japanese fish in the world’s only sea. Contrary to popular tales of woe, This shark’s craving’s for a children’s show. Mayhap I’m crazy, or talking to walls; All I can see, are marble-decked halls. Cake Cake Cake: unbridled with joy. If only my cateracts didn’t beefeaters employ. - MY SECRET MESSAGE TO THE WORLD [PART TWO] What we say in life, echoes in large caves. ...

PART ONE MAN enters a shop. A LADY is behind the counter. MAN I wish to register a complaint! (with a knowing grin) Hello miss. (He suddenly realises it IS a lady, and jumps in surprise). LADY  Yes sir, how can I help? MAN   I wish to make a complaint. LADY   Certainly sir. MAN  (aside) Er, this is a pet shop isn’t it? LADY   It appears to be sir. However, you will have to excuse me; I have a cold (she sneezes. This confuses the Man even more). MAN   Never mind that, my lad, I wish to make a complaint about a parrot I bought not half-an-hour ago in this very boutique! LADY   Ah yes. The-er-Norwegian blue, wasn’t it? What was wrong with it, sir? MAN   Well. I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it. (conspiratorially) It wasn’t dead! That’s what’s wrong with it! LADY   Dead, sir? Why on earth would you want it dead?! MAN  I’ll tell you why, my man. Because I need it in a sketch I was doing in Bolton. LADY...

Cats! A-ah! Saviours of the universe! Cats! A-ah! They’ll save ev’ry one of us! Seemingly there is no reason for these extraordinary intergalactic upsets. Only Dr Hans Zarkov, formerly at KiteKat, has provided any explanation. What’s happening Cats? Cats! A-ah! They’re a miracle! This mornings unprecedented solar eclipse is no cause for alarm. Cats! A-ah! Kings of the impossible! They’re for ev’ry one of us Stand for ev’ry one of us They’ll save with a mighty paw, ev’ry man, ev’ry woman, ev’ry child with a mighty MIAOW! General Kala. Felix the Cat approaching. What do you mean Felix the Cat approaching?! Open fire! All weapons! Dispatch war rocket Ajax to bring back his body! Cats! A-ah! Felix’s alive! Cats! A-ah! They’ll save ev’ry one of us! Just a cat, with a cat’s courage. They know nothing but a cat. But they can never fail. No cat but the pure in heart, may find the golden grahams… Oh, oh, oh, oh. Cats! Cats! You know I love you! But we only h...