Python Sketch
PART ONE MAN enters a shop. A LADY is behind the counter. MAN I wish to register a complaint! (with a knowing grin) Hello miss. (He suddenly realises it IS a lady, and jumps in surprise). LADY Yes sir, how can I help? MAN I wish to make a complaint. LADY Certainly sir. MAN (aside) Er, this is a pet shop isn’t it? LADY It appears to be sir. However, you will have to excuse me; I have a cold (she sneezes. This confuses the Man even more). MAN Never mind that, my lad, I wish to make a complaint about a parrot I bought not half-an-hour ago in this very boutique! LADY Ah yes. The-er-Norwegian blue, wasn’t it? What was wrong with it, sir? MAN Well. I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it. (conspiratorially) It wasn’t dead! That’s what’s wrong with it! LADY Dead, sir? Why on earth would you want it dead?! MAN I’ll tell you why, my man. Because I need it in a sketch I was doing in Bolton. LADY Bolton? Oh! You mean Notlob! MAN (suspiciou