Showing posts from May, 2006

Python Sketch

PART ONE MAN enters a shop. A LADY is behind the counter. MAN I wish to register a complaint! (with a knowing grin) Hello miss. (He suddenly realises it IS a lady, and jumps in surprise). LADY  Yes sir, how can I help? MAN   I wish to make a complaint. LADY   Certainly sir. MAN  (aside) Er, this is a pet shop isn’t it? LADY   It appears to be sir. However, you will have to excuse me; I have a cold (she sneezes. This confuses the Man even more). MAN   Never mind that, my lad, I wish to make a complaint about a parrot I bought not half-an-hour ago in this very boutique! LADY   Ah yes. The-er-Norwegian blue, wasn’t it? What was wrong with it, sir? MAN   Well. I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it. (conspiratorially) It wasn’t dead! That’s what’s wrong with it! LADY   Dead, sir? Why on earth would you want it dead?! MAN  I’ll tell you why, my man. Because I need it in a sketch I was doing in Bolton. LADY  Bolton? Oh! You mean Notlob! MAN   (suspiciou