Showing posts from May, 2006

Python Sketch


MAN enters a shop. A LADY is behind the counter.

MAN I wish to register a complaint! (with a knowing grin) Hello miss. (He suddenly realises it IS a lady, and jumps in surprise).

LADY Yes sir, how can I help?

MANI wish to make a complaint.

LADYCertainly sir.

MAN (aside) Er, this is a pet shop isn’t it?

LADYIt appears to be sir. However, you will have to excuse me; I have a cold (she sneezes. This confuses the Man even more).

MANNever mind that, my lad, I wish to make a complaint about a parrot I bought not half-an-hour ago in this very boutique!

LADYAh yes. The-er-Norwegian blue, wasn’t it? What was wrong with it, sir?

MANWell. I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it. (conspiratorially) It wasn’t dead! That’s what’s wrong with it!

LADYDead, sir? Why on earth would you want it dead?!

MAN I’ll tell you why, my man. Because I need it in a sketch I was doing in Bolton.

LADY Bolton? Oh! You mean Notlob!

MAN(suspiciously) This is Chichester isn’t it?

LADY Retsehcihc sir? Yes it is.

MAN Only my brother…