A Sense of Helplessness















I tried writing a blog about Orlando.

Specifically how disconnected I felt from it all.

This blog will probably get off-track and into dubious territory pretty quickly, so probably best abandon all hope ye who enter here…

I didn’t mean being disconnected *specifically* from that most recent event; I meant all ‘similar’ events (apologies if classing it as ‘just one of yet another mass shootings in the US’ diminishes people’s particular emotions with regards to this most recent one) - which expands to include the Paris shootings (Bataclan/Charlie Hebdo), “current events in Syria” [which frankly I just don’t know what that is anymore], and quite probably the countless tragic events/ongoing situations in recent months and years that have either passed me by; or just washed over me as yet another example of how I shirk the impossible task of fixing all that is wrong with humanity.

Orlando is undoubtedly a tragedy; especially for the community that has been specifically targeted. And, not being part of that community, I can’t truly appreciate the significance of it.

Which is exactly the same sensation I get when any US-shooting takes place; or any form of conflict; or when the news in general plays out.

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Is that wrong?

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I wonder what I am supposed to do in these situations.

I like to think if the situation was much more proximal to where I am (obviously I am not wishing this to occur!) I would do what I can in my limited capacity; but when it happens outside of your control - and where you can see the error of logic that has caused person X to do something abhorrent, where you can see how you would have acted differently - it is difficult to figure out where your emotions lie.

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By way of contrast, the company where I work got taken over today [well, paperwork still to be finalised etc., but it does seem certain] - and, in an instant this morning; all thoughts about Orlando, my friends in the LGBTQIA community, they instantly went out of my head for a while; replaced by some grand-scheme-of-things-less-important-but-immediately-challenging-to-my-privileged-life thoughts, that I can’t help but accept were perfectly understandable.

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I was going to try and weave in the EU referendum as well here (because - why the fuck not - in for a penny, in for a pound) because it just has so many problems, but frankly my head can’t take it at the moment.

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So I’ll just go back to my ivory tower, worry about my own immediate problems, and pretend that the world is actually a nice place, people aren’t morons, and cling on to the hope that it is all a terrible mistake and things will be better in the next life.

Oh wait, I’m not religious.

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This has been a feature presentation from the Not Really Sure What I’m On About party.

Thank you for listening.

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