blog.djstead.net

  Firstly; two important things: This is not a cry for help. I am fine; I am just working a few things out - consider this more a statement of intent This is very much an on-the-hoof/off-the-cuff exploration of the thoughts I am currently processing, and are therefore to be taken with a pinch of thought - There's a moment in the brilliant and broadly uplifting film Rave On for the Avon  where the Avon Mermaid [you'll need to watch it to understand better!] takes a look back to one shore of the estuary and states how it doesn't really feel like they've moved any further away from the shore (especially considering the craft they are following is gradually moving away from them), and even when they are half-way it doesn't feel like they are making progress. I think that is a useful metaphor for how I have been feeling these past 9 months or more - I know I'm pedalling away from something, and - more importantly - towards something; but my destination is unclear and...

[Disclaimer: This is being written less than 24 hours since the ruling by the UK Supreme Court that a woman is defined by biological sex, under the 2010 Equalities Act. There will inevitably be elements of this that I have missed, and I am not a legal expert so I don't expect to be able to deconstruct that aspect of this news. Plus there are raw emotions here, because I also happen to be a human. I may therefore revisit this and make some edits in the future]. Are we really still this dumb? Are we still going about our lives and making judgements on other people based on their physical appearance? Are we still using physical characteristics as a proxy for a person's personality and character? - My understanding here with what some people are celebrating is the notion that "men" can't invade a "woman's" space. And they are absolutely right here - history is littered with "men" oppressing "women", and we are (or maybe were) approach...

Hello blog-ness my old friend; I've come to talk to you again... I think that something very important to me, is dialogue. And I'm using this in very widely distributed terms; IE not just a conversation between two people - but all kinds of conversations between myself and the external world that I perceive - that I interrogate on a regular basis. Of course this can include a conversation with another person - it often does mean just that! But it also refers to every form of conversation I can try and engage with my external world through, and - more often than not - interacting with the implied structures within that world. Very often on this blog I have attempted to engage in a dialogue with the world of politics (or - more accurately - I have vented my frustration at the seeming lack of two-way conversations that occur in this arena - or even more accurately; the horrific imbalance of power between those that have been imbued with it by some seeming 'will of the people...

 I'm not certain what's going on with me at the moment. Let's take stock of a few facts and go from there: I have a really interesting job: Aside from a few peripheral quibbles; my actual job and place of work is really interesting, and whenever I am there and working, I am happy and feel good about what I am doing I have even begun to be a little more social with some of my colleagues; expressing myself a little more, and being more open in what I share with them - which isn't something I felt inclined to do at my previous job of nearly 18 years I have an amazing partner; whenever we interact I am filled with love and all the positive feelings - and not without some relationship work from the both of us - but we feel really good as partners, and I am experiencing new levels of shared happiness; it's bonkers in all the good ways And yet when I am away from these two significant aspects of my life (on 'non-working' days; and when I'm living on my own), I...

  About 23 years ago, I started to make some fairly fundamental decisions about my life. I'm referring to internal, philosophical and - ultimately (pun intended) - selfish decisions, that would steer my way of approaching life for the next few decades. Perhaps the term selfish is misleading, as I think it has a negative feel to it (which, may well still be true in some lights); but what I mean by the previous sentence, is that I looked at the world outwardly from myself. I started from first principles (which I stacked up at ultimatephilosophy.com), and lived on the basis that everything else in life was a lot of fun things, that ultimately didn't matter. I came to conclusions very early on in my life, that acknowledged that life is a singular experience - an often lonely one - and I became very lucky through my privilege that often life wasn't too harsh on me - I have (and indeed have!!) a great support network around me, of friends and family; who were accepting of my vie...

  Surely it must be true of all humans, that for a significant percentage of your life, it is spent trying to figure out what is going on. Certainly in early childhood that seems demonstrably true - what can I eat? What is hot, what is cold? How do I communicate with these other people? These people in particular seem to care about me - that feels nice; I'll stay with them for a while; and so on. Then as a teenager you perhaps start to figure out more about who you  are and what the body of yours can do - and maybe start to think about the entirety of existence, and your place within it. That feels familiar to me - but I think it absolutely doesn't stop there if you don't want it to. Yes there are some avenues where folks accept there being no answer to 'why this?', and carry on a path for the rest of their lives (and, objectively, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with that) - whilst others continue to question things: Why do we work? Why are we supposed ...